Singles Ad Humor

Trying to ignore a sucky day, here are three coincidentally discovered items on dating that had me snickering this weekend. The first is the oldie but goodie by the very funny Joel Friesen, "WHY YOU SHOULD CONTINUE TO DATE ME; A SERIES OF CHARTS AND GRAPHS." For wacky uses of charts, it does not get much better. (Apparently she just concluded he was weird.)

Also from Joel, his second item of snigger-worthiness is his study of an online singles site's weirdest ads and criteria. This is in Fun with Lavalife. One of the finds:

Old White Ladies who Love Rap. If you refine a search down to its most basic elements you can find some pretty unique people. I looked for anyone over the age of 70 who lists rap music as their main source of inspiration. Oddly enough there is a bunch. But most seem to have accidentally filled in their age wrong, or they have incredible skin for a 103 year old gangsta.

Shortly after this, I looked over an art project on dating, called I Want You to Want Me, by Jonathan Harris and Sep Kamvar. I can't make out most of the screenshots, but the "Highlights" quotes rock. Here are a few:

• I'm interested in meeting a lusty male who dreams deconstruction and dismantles stale ideologies
• I'm looking for a virgin supermodel nymphomaniac with huge breasts that owns a liquor store.
• I'm looking for someone who can make my heart beat fast (not to be confused with giving me a heart attack).
• Looking for an entry level or junior administrative assistant who is willing to have some naughty fun with her older boss once a week, or maybe more if she’s willing.

That last one might be an actual job ad, not a singles ad. Who can tell? Now that I see these, I feel I missed a real data mining opportunity when I used one of these sites in California. It could have been so much more fun!